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Reasons Why Your Parenting Style is The Best

Wednesday, December 27, 2017

Honestly, since I became a mother it is frustrating when I see other mom's are judged on the way they raise their kids. I know I have been judged as well in how I take care of my lil one. These comments come from family members, in laws, friends and even strangers. However, one thing that they do not know is that you can never understand the situation if you do not actually experience it for your own self. Until you are in that person's shoes, being a parent is hard enough but having to hear or read negative comments on how you raise your child is adding more to our frustration. Although we are not perfect and make small mistakes along the way, no one can understand what you go through unless they are living in your body. So bottom line is , keep your judgement comments or momshaming words to yourself. 

1. You know your child the best

Okay, it does not matter whether you child is taken care of by a babysitter, mother or in law, you are still the one who knows your child the best. Why? Well, mainly because they are your product and you developed that bond way before anyone else does. DNA is what we call it. You know the distinct cries for a nappy change, cranky, sleep or hungry. You even know when your child is not behaving normally or have fallen ill.  Do not let others determine what your baby needs as at the end of the day, you wished you had listened to your own self. Trust the mother instinct in you.

2. Times have changed

You can never run away from the fact that others will give advice on your parenting style. Things that used to work before might not work for us today. Everything is different from 30, 20, 10 or even 5 years before. Long gone are the days where you let your kids go to the candy store alone or play at the park with their friends without supervision until dark. Some of our decisions now may be hard for the generation different from us to understand. The good thing is we often spend a lot amount of time researching (GOOGLE) on how to make our child's life a great one. But one thing that never changes is the amount of love parents have for their children. 

3. Your sleep method, your choice

If you want to train your baby to sleep in the cot in a different room, do it. If you want to have them beside your bed, have them there. If you want to co-sleep and bed share, have your way. I know that there are a lot of parents out there who co-sleep with their lil one as it makes them feel more comforted. Not only that, it is convenient for breastfeeding mothers too. 

Some babies like mine prefer to sleep beside us as they feel protected by our presence. Hence the IKEA baby cot we bought is left empty beside our bed. Of course they are pros and cons to co-sleeping. However, many of us mothers feel ashamed to admit that we do co-sleep with our lil ones as we know that we would definitely be judged. 

4. No advice from people without kids are accepted

Of course, do not ignore the 'Your baby is so cute' comment but if they do not have kids, anything they say should be taken with a grain of salt. People without kids who have their opinions and judgement comes from a place of ignorance. As I mentioned above, if you do not walk in their shoes, you will never EVER can relate to it. The solution to understand us parents is to start having your own kids. 

5. You are doing great !

Despite of messing up a few times in your parenting style, never doubt your own self. You are strong and you are doing great. Trust me. You choose your parenting ways and own it. Although parenting has its trying moments, you will learn along the way. Find a tribe that shares experience rather than opinions and remember, your decisions is the best for YOUR family.

So did you have your share of momshaming experiences? Feel free to share them with me and we could swap stories! 

Ways to Spend Your Holidays at Home

Tuesday, December 26, 2017

Are you spending the holidays at home this year and feel bored? No worries as you can spend your holidays productively by doing these holiday traditions. Whether you are single or happily with a special someone, these Christmas traditions will never make you feel down in the dumps on this festive season. Celebrate your singledom or cherish your loved ones by incorporating them in these traditions to make it more fun. Check out below on how to make your days off smooth and full of joy.

 1. Bake

This is definitely the time to brush your baking skills and whip up some delicious cookies to enjoy or serve your holiday guests. If you are single, do it yourself and learn as you go. Take it as a new refreshing experience or you can ask your single friends to join in the fun. However, if you have a family, ask your kids or nephews and nieces to lend you a helping hand. Children definitely love to get their hands in your baking project. Bake the classic gingerbread cookies or go for the ultimate favourite chocolate chip cookies. 

 2. Organize a Dinner Party 

This is a splendid way to catch up with your family, friends and neighbours. Organize a dinner party with scrumptious holiday meals and decorate your home with Christmas ornaments. And yes, a beautifully decorated Christmas tree is a must to have in an area of your home. This will definitely get every one of your guests in the festive jolly mood. 

 3. Have a Christmas Movie Marathon 

Another way to spend your day indoors is by having a Christmas movie marathon alone or with your loved ones. One of my all time favourite is the Home Alone movies and The Santa Clause. These classic 90's movies just brings me back to my childhood years when everything was so simple. Not only that, I also do enjoy some modern love story Christmas movies as well thrown into the mix. Nothing like having your heart flutter during the holidays. Put on your Christmas pyjamas with cute socks to keep your warm and enjoy the movie!

 4. Relax with a Cup of Hot Chocolate

If you want some time to unwind and have a piece of mind, sit by the Christmas tree and sip in some hot chocolate. Feel the spirit of Christmas gazing upon your decorated Christmas tree and beautifully wrapped gifts under it. For those who have kids, sit together with your husband and children while chit chatting. 

 5. Spend Time with Loved Ones

If you are single, go spend your holidays with your family, relatives or other single friends. For a married woman like me, having your husband home for the holidays and joking around with your lil one is priceless. Open gifts together or entertain your children with some Santa Clause stories. You can also go out and bring your children to visit Santa. Pavillion Shopping Mall in Kuala Lumpur has a Santa Clause meet and greet as well as photo session that you can experience together. 

So how did you spend your Christmas holidays this year? Feel free to share with me your incredible plans. 

Attending the L’Oréal Paris x Balmain Paris x ZALORA Malaysia Exclusive Launch Party

Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Last Wednesday, ZALORA had organized one of the long awaited party of the year to launch the exclusive L’Oréal Paris and Balmain Paris lipstick collection. The partnership of L’Oréal Paris and Balmain Paris with ZALORA was held at Kyo, Mandarin Oriental Kuala Lumpur. The capsule collection of 12 couture matte lipstick shades caters to different backgrounds and origins of women. The capsule collection is divided into three Paris tribes which are blue for Rock, black for Couture and green for Glamazone. Displayed beautifully during the event with a vanity mirror, attendees had the chance to try the shades first hand and rock the shades with confidence.

With over 360 guest, the L’Oréal Paris x Balmain Paris launch party was hosted by Nadia Heng and started off with a welcoming speech by ZALORA's Managing Director- Operations, Rostin Javadi. 

Kicking off the event to an exciting presentation of the different lipstick shades donned by 12 stunning ladies holding signs of what each lipstick represents which include Tuti, Kaka Azraff, Cherrie Mun, Johanis Sani, Marisa Soraya, Alicia Amin, Atikah Karim, Rubini, Qalisha Ray, Tunku Elana,  Aina Syahirah and Evangeline Tan. The strut of these 12 ladies definitely bring that vibe of women empowerment that the brand aims to shout out.  The event went on with a dance performance which got the crowd cheering with excitement. 

All attendees were lucky enough to get the chance of bringing home amazing goodies of the L’Oréal Paris x Balmain Paris lipsticks, mascara, eyeliner and even a L’Oréal Paris eyeshadow pallete home. The night ended with a spin of amazing remix tunes by DJ, Arabryd. Overall, the event was a huge success and one of the most anticipated events of the year. For more coverage and photos of the event which I have covered, do check it our here -

Essentials for A Fun Beach Day With Your Baby

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

Recently, we dropped by the beach to give our little one the experience of walking in the sand and feel the ocean breeze. Being new parents we hardly were prepared but these are what you should bring to enjoy a fun day at the beach with your baby. As fun as beach day sounds, it cannot be denied, me and my husband did struggle a bit because the beach toilet we went to was not baby friendly. We also got caught up in a windy thunder storm there as well which was pretty scary. But enough of that, let's head to the essential list :)

1. Reusable Swimming Diaper

Yes, this is a must especially when you want your baby to have the experience in the ocean water. Putting on a normal everyday diaper will make your baby feel less comfortable as it absorbs water easily and makes the diaper become heavy. Reusable swimming diapers help contain the water absorbed in and if your baby suddenly poops, no worries as this diaper can be washed and reused again. 

2. Sunscreen

Baby's skin are sensitive so applying sunscreen on them is crucial! Therefore, make sure you choose the sunscreen suitable for baby's skin and slather in on your baby skin entirely. 

3. Beach Hat

Beaches are known to be scrounging hot especially in the Malaysia climate.  Avoid going to the beach during the afternoon when the sun is high in the sky. You don't want your lil one getting a fever from the hot sun hence go to the beach from 8am-10am or 5pm-7pm when the sun is at its perfect position (not too hot and not too gloomy). But still make sure your baby wear a beach hat to lessen the heat blow.

4. Baby Swimwear

Instead of dressing up your baby in a normal t-shirt and shorts, go for the baby swimwear for a proper beach look. It is more comfortable and easy to dry after being soaked in the ocean water.

5. Beach Sand Toys

Okay, your lil one will definitely need some entertainment to enjoy his beach time with you. So bring along some sand toys from a pail, shovel and tools to build a sand castle. Let your baby learn how to scoop up the sand, dig a hole or play with the sand. However, make sure that you monitor your lil one so that he/she does not get sand in the eyes. Never ever sneak in the time to read a book or switch your eyes to something else as your baby still needs your undivided attention. 

6. Tote Bag

This is something needed for the parents to carry their belongings in at the beach. Leave your designer handbags at home and use a tote bag instead. 

7. Towel

Bring a towel to dry off your baby after enjoying the ocean water. Rinse him with clean water at the beach toilet so that his/her skin feels more refreshed. Remember, baby's skin is sensitive. 

8. Diaper + Clean clothes

Change that swimming diaper with a normal clean one and comfortable clothing. Once your baby had their share of fun at the beach of tired from playing in the sand, a new change of clothes and clean diaper will make your baby feel comfortable to snooze off in the car later. Oh, don't forget that bottle of milk to fill their empty tummy.

So are you planning for a beach weekend trip with your lil one? Share your experience in the comment section below.

How to Handle Being Bullied - My Side of Story

Monday, December 04, 2017

As much as everyone out there are saying they are anti-bullying, sometimes I think to myself whether they have been on the other side of it all. If you haven't, you would probably feel sorry for the people who are being bullied and if you have, you definitely can relate to what I am about to tell you.

When I was growing up, being a lil girl who tags along by my brother who plays soccer with his friends, I started experiencing being bullied by other lil boys my age. They snatch my toys and throw it into a deep drain, they called me names and trip my legs making me fall on my knees. When I was in elementary school in the States, I had my share of racist comments thrown my way from other kids for being Asian and being kicked in the leg too. But some of the other kids are nice and still wanted to play with me. Then when I came back to Malaysia, I became a loner because I look mixed in a Malay elementary school. Other kids were probably confused what race I actually am as Malaysia is a multi-racial country. But I didn't mind much and continued going about my business.

But the real bullying began when I turned 13 years old where my so called 'best friend' started rallying up girls in the class against me. I was so confused at that time of why they are attacking me and talked behind my back. From what I heard from the boys in the class is that

1) The guys they liked, had a crush on me ( and being teenage girls, they blamed me of course where I had no idea who the guys are)

2) Because I became popular in school ( I would say people knew me because I participated in a lot of contest in school but is that my fault too?)

Honestly, I never spoke ill about anyone in school and always tried to befriend everyone regardless of their age (junior, sophomore, senior). But as I turned 14, the bullying became drastically bad as the same girls started to isolate me, giving me side eyes and disapproving everyone who said good things about me. However being the naive me who still wanted to believe in the good in people, I still helped them out even though they were just using me to borrow makeup and clothes. You know why, because I wanted to be a friend and give them a chance to get to know me. But that never worked because after they got what they wanted from me, they began isolating and bullying me every single day all over again.

This may shock you but when I was 14, I was hurting inside from all the bullying and started to slit my wrists so that I could feel pain somewhere else except in my heart. But nothing to the extent of bleeding out much just slit marks that are not in deep. At a few points, I thought about committing suicide ( don't worry, this happened when I was in a teenager state of mind) . Being a teenager, I wanted to fit in. I wanted to please everyone. I wanted to have friends. But I never seemed to fit in, I never seemed to please everyone and the girls didn't want to be friends with me despite my kindness to them.  I cried myself to sleep every night and never told my parents about what I was going through at school. I began losing focus in my studies and started putting up a wall in my heart from others to enter. Imagine how a naive innocent girl turned unapproachable by being bullied for years.

When I hit 16, I had another pang of hurt as I was cyber bullied. That time, it was the Myspace days and Facebook was not even popular yet. I was called ugly, a slut, skinny like a stick (body-shamed), and all the horrible things you can imagine. One day I went to the bathroom to pee during recess and on the back of the door I saw something written and a drawing of a stick figure named 'Aini' which is me and a score board of the name of my so called ex 'best friend' who stabbed my back when I was 13. The score board was rating me zero on looks, zero on sexy figure and zero in hotness. I walked out the bathroom skipping recess and stayed in the classroom all alone and cried. I carried my sorrows and doubting my self worth. At that time, I was questioning myself of am I really not pretty? Is my body so disgusting because I had no curves when I was a teenager. But I prayed every night to GOD to give me strength to endure the pain.

When I became a senior, I guess I became a bit stronger due to all the walls I have putted up in my heart all those years. But do bear in mind, I was still getting bullied every single day. I practically only had a couple of girls who did not want any part of the bullying that was happening to me and became a friend.

Okay, back to the story. So, I took the courage to tell my parents of what I was going through all those years and my mom's face turned sad and she was speechless. She did not know what to respond and turned to my dad. My dad was quite. The next day while he was driving me to school, he suddenly said to me 'Do you want to change schools?'

And at that moment, it is as if GOD was sending me a message from above to my heart and mind to be strong. Something triggered in me. It is as if GOD was saying to me 'If I stayed strong and believed in him, he will take care of me'.

So I said to my dad'  It's okay Papa. I don't want to change schools because if I do, it means victory for them and I do not want them to win. No. I will stay strong until I complete my high school and finish the SPM final year exams.' My dad just nodded but I saw his worries splattered across his face.

In university, I also was bullied by a group of girls because I had an American accent and they accused me of faking it. There was a point where I did not want to even speak during class presentation because I knew they were talking about my accent. They didn't know that I used to study in the States and have friends there. They surely did not know where I came from and choose to judge me. Yes, my parents lived in a small town in Malaysia after we came back from the States because my dad wanted to live in a close community. He hated the big city and preferred to raise his family in a small town. Because of that, these KL girls were dissing me and saying I was a kampung (country) girl who didn't have any use for them to be friends with. Well, I was born in KL but I lived all around the place. But what is wrong living in a small town? I loved that small town even-though I was bullied in school there.

But you know what guys, despite all of that, I managed to survive it all. KARMA hit them bad and somehow news will arrive about it to my ears. Maybe it is GOD's way of telling me that he really took care of me all this while. I grew up becoming a strong woman who has been through hell and back. And look where I am today! :)

Moral of the story is, treat people kindly whomever they are because bullying is not acceptable. Bullying leads to someone committing actual suicide. It tortures someone emotionally and mentally. I had no help while I was going through it all. But if you feel that you can't take it anymore, go to see a therapist or counselor to share your feelings. Trust me, it helps by talking to someone.

I hope one day when my child grows up, he will not experience the pain of bullying like I did. And if he does, I want him to be able to talk with me and share his feelings openly. I want him to know that I will always catch him when he falls. That he can outgrow all the bullies and prove to them that he is better.

Have you had your share of bullies in life? Feel free to share your experience and I will definitely get back to you :)

From someone who understands, 

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