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Momming - The Reason Why Moms Can't Slow Down

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

I am a working mother who sleeps at 12.00 am as soon as the baby sleeps and wakes up at 5.30am every morning to get ready for work. Not to mention the middle of the night wake up call to feed the baby at 3.30am. I rush to head out of the house grabbing my work handbag and packed breakfast/lunch. I live quite far from the office but that never stopped me for going to work as I consider myself lucky in having a job that I really enjoy. 

I reached the office at 6.45am and since I became a mother, I sneak in an hour time to sleep in the car at the office car park with the air-conditioning and engine switched off because I want to save fuel (fuel is so expensive nowadays and I need to save every buck I can!). When I was single, I never minded starting my work at my desk at 7.00am sharp because I always got enough sleep haha but not anymore. 

After an hour sleeping in the car, I head up to the office and I am still one of the early birds. Then I focus on work til 6.00pm five days a week and head home to fulfill my mommy/wifey responsibilities. I arrive at my house with all the traffic at about 7.15pm as the sun goes down. My husband picks up the baby so sometimes while waiting for him to arrive home, I will squeeze in some 15 minutes workout but at times I just quickly shower while doing squats and planks in the bathroom (I know right? Multitasking to that extent)

After that, I make dinner and tidy up the house a bit. As soon as my husband and baby arrives at the driveway, I go out greeting them and carrying my baby inside for some playtime. I entertain the baby giving my husband the time to shower, work out and have his dinner. Yes, this is my weekday routine. Apart from planning a birthday party (goodies, decoration, cake, entertainment, gift) and grocery shopping, settling the baby to sleep is another story. So my rest time is at 12.00am to 5.30am with interrupted sleep at 3.30am. When the baby sleeps, I will be so relieved and aim to scroll through the Instagram or having a conversation with the hubs but ended up snoozing off beside the baby leaving the husband hanging.

During the weekends, I am a full-time mommy (because yes guys, my husband works during the weekend too and I have no extra eyes taking care of the baby on the weekend) where I cook for the baby and the family, giving the baby a bath and showering at the same time, making up the bed, doing the laundry and cleaning the house. And yes, I have a clingy baby who loves to follow me everywhere I go so I do the house chores while carrying him in one hand. Imagine how strong my left arm is right now. So how would I slow down. I always think to myself to calm the shit down but if I do nothing will be done. The house will look like a hurricane hit and I will forget or miss to get certain things on the to-do list.  I am afraid that if I take my time strolling down the supermarket aisle or delaying things, everything will catch up to me and come crashing at my feet. And I am also the biggest support system for the husband. I listen to his day-to-day stories while playing with the baby. Also putting the time and effort to always try to make our relationship have some spice especially as we have dated over a decade before getting married. Not that I am complaining but just saying.

Moms never slow down because they are deeply afraid that if they do, they can never make up for the lost time as we are swamped with responsibilities as it is. Let's face it, if we don't do it, no one will. Momming does not work that way. Even if our partner helps around a bit, it is not the same as what mothers do to ensure the household and baby is kept well. Mothers always have that sixth sense. It is called noticing all the things that needs to get done and racing to it. Although some lucky moms out there have people to come around to help, it cannot be denied that we are the ones who needs to remind them? Moms!

Who teaches the kids of saying 'thank you' and 'please', to tie their shoe laces, to introduce them to new food, read them stories, take photos of their development or ask them if they are okay. It takes energy and effort to do that. And yes, pretty overwhelming and for a working mom, extreme overload of emotions.

We struggle to slow down as there is always something that comes up and in dire need of our magic hands. We push through the tired hours of the day and through our illness because slowing down is not an option in our life anymore. And being mom-shamed by others is not helpful. 

We get through the days. We get it all done from A to Z (or sometimes until M). We feel exhausted and don't think anything is left to be done. We check on our kid for one last time before we fall into bed staring at their innocent looking face while hearing their soft breathing. And that final sight is the most precious moment a mother would get up to the next morning and do everything all over again. 

I thought I had already appreciated and respected my own mother after all these years. But as soon as I became a mother myself, the level of appreciation and respect is at a whole other level. As I am writing this, I am tearing up as it makes me touched with all the sacrifices that my own mother made putting her life on hold to raise her kids with kindness, passion, love and support. 

So moms out there, you are not alone. Whatever you see in social media by celebrities are painted picture perfect but let's be real, being a mother is hard work and once one becomes a mother, then they can relate. Taking care of your nieces and nephews is not as exhausting as taking care of your own child. Believe me, I have been there. Although being a mom is challenging, I would do it all over again 👪 because that's how much that lil one brought more purpose in my life. The one who makes me strive to be the best I can and pushing through the hard days with the will in me so I can give a better life for my child. I bet all parents feel the same. 

Do you feel you can relate? Feel free to share your real stories with me in the comment section below or hit my email up. 

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