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My Confinement Story

Thursday, October 26, 2017

Okay I know this is a long overdue story since my baby is almost hitting his 10 months milestone. Yeay! Now let's get real for a few minutes. My confinement journey was not easy. My lil one has G6PD and he had to be admitted to the NICU for close monitoring. He had to undergo various test and being a mother, I cried when he cried during my NICU visit to me. I had normal delivery but I tore quite bad down there and stitched up. Being stitched up at your private area stings like crazy and difficult to even walk. Women who go through the experience will actually know the level of pain I am talking about right now. But that didn't stop me from going back and forth to breastfeed my child every three hours. I changed his diapers, breastfed him and had no help at all during that time because we were in the NICU unit. 

If you know me, I will always put the baby first and neglect myself so I did not care what happened to me. I felt a lot of pain down there but I ignored it and just swallowed some pain killers. So when my baby got a little bit better, we were discharged and I could not wait to head home. Of course we still need to go for baby checkups during the confinement period but on the first day of the doctor's visit at the Government Clinic, they found something was wrong with me. Every nurse had gasped as soon as they flipped my kain batik to check on the stitching. Turns out the stitching was a total breakdown meaning it was wide open. You can see everything in there. No wonder I was in so much pain for days. 

Then of course I had to go to the nearest government hospital and in the car while holding my baby, I broke down. I cried because I was in pain, tired and had to overcome this never ending challenges. Yes guys, I had post-partum depression. My husband was very worried and he said to me what any wife would want to hear 'I am here for you.Always'. I calmed down a little after hearing that.

Once we arrived and I thought I would be taken care of, even the specialist of the government hospital did not want to do anything and referred me back to the hospital which I originally had my baby. It was a two hour drive as I was staying with my mom during my confinement period. The government hospital specialist was very nice and gave me some strong pain killers so I felt no pain during the drive. 

I called my original specialist while my husband and I were driving down there and told the situation. So my specialist doctor scheduled for a emergency meeting to fix my va-jay-jay. I brought the baby along too because we were afraid if I had to be admitted but turns out they wanted to pull out all the stitching from my private area. So my husband had to babysit the baby while I had to undergo another level of pain when they had to clean the wound and pull all the broken stitching out. I had no pain killers, NOTHING! Imagine the continuous pain I had to endure. 

While I was in the operation room for the procedure, I heard my baby crying and my husband cannot calm him down. A kind nurse came in the operation room bringing my baby and I was nursing him while undergoing the painful procedure. MULTI-TASKING much! 

After all that, we went home for another two hours drive and it was a roller coaster ride as my baby woke up every two hours to nurse. I was breaking inside because I bundled everything inside. But to my amazement, my second sister-in-law texted me and helped ease my struggles as she understood what I am going through. I am grateful that she became a friend when I needed to talk to someone. 

My husband was a great support system as well during that downward spiral as he helped cleaned the wound at my private area with saline solution twice a day for four months. He had seen the open wound once the stitches had been removed to the day it was properly healed. He took pictures so I can keep track of it healing well. And I am very grateful I had a husband who will always have my back no matter what. 

Well guys, do not be fooled with the picture perfect life that you see on social media as everyone has  their own story. I have mine too and I am not embarrassed to share it as I want you to know that you are not alone. It was tough but I managed to survive it all. Besides that, my baby was my biggest motivation to keep going and not give up. However, it you feel that your post-partum depression is getting worse, please seek advice from a kind hearted counselor and never be ashamed. 

I hope my story helped some of you ladies out there develop a more positive spirit. If you ever need anyone to talk to about your struggles, hit me up at my email and I will try my best to reply asap. 

Thanks for reading guys. Love you :)

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