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Reasons Why Your Parenting Style is The Best

Wednesday, December 27, 2017


Honestly, since I became a mother it is frustrating when I see other mom's are judged on the way they raise their kids. I know I have been judged as well in how I take care of my lil one. These comments come from family members, in laws, friends and even strangers. However, one thing that they do not know is that you can never understand the situation if you do not actually experience it for your own self. Until you are in that person's shoes, being a parent is hard enough but having to hear or read negative comments on how you raise your child is adding more to our frustration. Although we are not perfect and make small mistakes along the way, no one can understand what you go through unless they are living in your body. So bottom line is , keep your judgement comments or momshaming words to yourself. 

1. You know your child the best


Okay, it does not matter whether you child is taken care of by a babysitter, mother or in law, you are still the one who knows your child the best. Why? Well, mainly because they are your product and you developed that bond way before anyone else does. DNA is what we call it. You know the distinct cries for a nappy change, cranky, sleep or hungry. You even know when your child is not behaving normally or have fallen ill.  Do not let others determine what your baby needs as at the end of the day, you wished you had listened to your own self. Trust the mother instinct in you.



2. Times have changed

You can never run away from the fact that others will give advice on your parenting style. Things that used to work before might not work for us today. Everything is different from 30, 20, 10 or even 5 years before. Long gone are the days where you let your kids go to the candy store alone or play at the park with their friends without supervision until dark. Some of our decisions now may be hard for the generation different from us to understand. The good thing is we often spend a lot amount of time researching (GOOGLE) on how to make our child's life a great one. But one thing that never changes is the amount of love parents have for their children. 




3. Your sleep method, your choice


If you want to train your baby to sleep in the cot in a different room, do it. If you want to have them beside your bed, have them there. If you want to co-sleep and bed share, have your way. I know that there are a lot of parents out there who co-sleep with their lil one as it makes them feel more comforted. Not only that, it is convenient for breastfeeding mothers too. 



Some babies like mine prefer to sleep beside us as they feel protected by our presence. Hence the IKEA baby cot we bought is left empty beside our bed. Of course they are pros and cons to co-sleeping. However, many of us mothers feel ashamed to admit that we do co-sleep with our lil ones as we know that we would definitely be judged. 



4. No advice from people without kids are accepted

Of course, do not ignore the 'Your baby is so cute' comment but if they do not have kids, anything they say should be taken with a grain of salt. People without kids who have their opinions and judgement comes from a place of ignorance. As I mentioned above, if you do not walk in their shoes, you will never EVER can relate to it. The solution to understand us parents is to start having your own kids. 



5. You are doing great !


Despite of messing up a few times in your parenting style, never doubt your own self. You are strong and you are doing great. Trust me. You choose your parenting ways and own it. Although parenting has its trying moments, you will learn along the way. Find a tribe that shares experience rather than opinions and remember, your decisions is the best for YOUR family.




So did you have your share of momshaming experiences? Feel free to share them with me and we could swap stories! 

Ways to Spend Your Holidays at Home

Tuesday, December 26, 2017

Are you spending the holidays at home this year and feel bored? No worries as you can spend your holidays productively by doing these holiday traditions. Whether you are single or happily with a special someone, these Christmas traditions will never make you feel down in the dumps on this festive season. Celebrate your singledom or cherish your loved ones by incorporating them in these traditions to make it more fun. Check out below on how to make your days off smooth and full of joy.


 1. Bake



This is definitely the time to brush your baking skills and whip up some delicious cookies to enjoy or serve your holiday guests. If you are single, do it yourself and learn as you go. Take it as a new refreshing experience or you can ask your single friends to join in the fun. However, if you have a family, ask your kids or nephews and nieces to lend you a helping hand. Children definitely love to get their hands in your baking project. Bake the classic gingerbread cookies or go for the ultimate favourite chocolate chip cookies. 



 2. Organize a Dinner Party 



This is a splendid way to catch up with your family, friends and neighbours. Organize a dinner party with scrumptious holiday meals and decorate your home with Christmas ornaments. And yes, a beautifully decorated Christmas tree is a must to have in an area of your home. This will definitely get every one of your guests in the festive jolly mood. 




 3. Have a Christmas Movie Marathon 


Another way to spend your day indoors is by having a Christmas movie marathon alone or with your loved ones. One of my all time favourite is the Home Alone movies and The Santa Clause. These classic 90's movies just brings me back to my childhood years when everything was so simple. Not only that, I also do enjoy some modern love story Christmas movies as well thrown into the mix. Nothing like having your heart flutter during the holidays. Put on your Christmas pyjamas with cute socks to keep your warm and enjoy the movie!




 4. Relax with a Cup of Hot Chocolate



If you want some time to unwind and have a piece of mind, sit by the Christmas tree and sip in some hot chocolate. Feel the spirit of Christmas gazing upon your decorated Christmas tree and beautifully wrapped gifts under it. For those who have kids, sit together with your husband and children while chit chatting. 



 5. Spend Time with Loved Ones

If you are single, go spend your holidays with your family, relatives or other single friends. For a married woman like me, having your husband home for the holidays and joking around with your lil one is priceless. Open gifts together or entertain your children with some Santa Clause stories. You can also go out and bring your children to visit Santa. Pavillion Shopping Mall in Kuala Lumpur has a Santa Clause meet and greet as well as photo session that you can experience together. 




So how did you spend your Christmas holidays this year? Feel free to share with me your incredible plans. 


Attending the L’Oréal Paris x Balmain Paris x ZALORA Malaysia Exclusive Launch Party

Wednesday, December 20, 2017




Last Wednesday, ZALORA had organized one of the long awaited party of the year to launch the exclusive L’Oréal Paris and Balmain Paris lipstick collection. The partnership of L’Oréal Paris and Balmain Paris with ZALORA was held at Kyo, Mandarin Oriental Kuala Lumpur. The capsule collection of 12 couture matte lipstick shades caters to different backgrounds and origins of women. The capsule collection is divided into three Paris tribes which are blue for Rock, black for Couture and green for Glamazone. Displayed beautifully during the event with a vanity mirror, attendees had the chance to try the shades first hand and rock the shades with confidence.




With over 360 guest, the L’Oréal Paris x Balmain Paris launch party was hosted by Nadia Heng and started off with a welcoming speech by ZALORA's Managing Director- Operations, Rostin Javadi. 



Kicking off the event to an exciting presentation of the different lipstick shades donned by 12 stunning ladies holding signs of what each lipstick represents which include Tuti, Kaka Azraff, Cherrie Mun, Johanis Sani, Marisa Soraya, Alicia Amin, Atikah Karim, Rubini, Qalisha Ray, Tunku Elana,  Aina Syahirah and Evangeline Tan. The strut of these 12 ladies definitely bring that vibe of women empowerment that the brand aims to shout out.  The event went on with a dance performance which got the crowd cheering with excitement. 







All attendees were lucky enough to get the chance of bringing home amazing goodies of the L’Oréal Paris x Balmain Paris lipsticks, mascara, eyeliner and even a L’Oréal Paris eyeshadow pallete home. The night ended with a spin of amazing remix tunes by DJ, Arabryd. Overall, the event was a huge success and one of the most anticipated events of the year. For more coverage and photos of the event which I have covered, do check it our here - https://thread.zalora.com.my/home/2017/12/loral-paris-x-balmain-paris-x-zalora-malaysia-exclusive-launch-party

Essentials for A Fun Beach Day With Your Baby

Tuesday, December 12, 2017


Recently, we dropped by the beach to give our little one the experience of walking in the sand and feel the ocean breeze. Being new parents we hardly were prepared but these are what you should bring to enjoy a fun day at the beach with your baby. As fun as beach day sounds, it cannot be denied, me and my husband did struggle a bit because the beach toilet we went to was not baby friendly. We also got caught up in a windy thunder storm there as well which was pretty scary. But enough of that, let's head to the essential list :)


1. Reusable Swimming Diaper

Yes, this is a must especially when you want your baby to have the experience in the ocean water. Putting on a normal everyday diaper will make your baby feel less comfortable as it absorbs water easily and makes the diaper become heavy. Reusable swimming diapers help contain the water absorbed in and if your baby suddenly poops, no worries as this diaper can be washed and reused again. 


2. Sunscreen

Baby's skin are sensitive so applying sunscreen on them is crucial! Therefore, make sure you choose the sunscreen suitable for baby's skin and slather in on your baby skin entirely. 


3. Beach Hat

Beaches are known to be scrounging hot especially in the Malaysia climate.  Avoid going to the beach during the afternoon when the sun is high in the sky. You don't want your lil one getting a fever from the hot sun hence go to the beach from 8am-10am or 5pm-7pm when the sun is at its perfect position (not too hot and not too gloomy). But still make sure your baby wear a beach hat to lessen the heat blow.



4. Baby Swimwear

Instead of dressing up your baby in a normal t-shirt and shorts, go for the baby swimwear for a proper beach look. It is more comfortable and easy to dry after being soaked in the ocean water.



5. Beach Sand Toys

Okay, your lil one will definitely need some entertainment to enjoy his beach time with you. So bring along some sand toys from a pail, shovel and tools to build a sand castle. Let your baby learn how to scoop up the sand, dig a hole or play with the sand. However, make sure that you monitor your lil one so that he/she does not get sand in the eyes. Never ever sneak in the time to read a book or switch your eyes to something else as your baby still needs your undivided attention. 



6. Tote Bag

This is something needed for the parents to carry their belongings in at the beach. Leave your designer handbags at home and use a tote bag instead. 



7. Towel

Bring a towel to dry off your baby after enjoying the ocean water. Rinse him with clean water at the beach toilet so that his/her skin feels more refreshed. Remember, baby's skin is sensitive. 



8. Diaper + Clean clothes

Change that swimming diaper with a normal clean one and comfortable clothing. Once your baby had their share of fun at the beach of tired from playing in the sand, a new change of clothes and clean diaper will make your baby feel comfortable to snooze off in the car later. Oh, don't forget that bottle of milk to fill their empty tummy.




So are you planning for a beach weekend trip with your lil one? Share your experience in the comment section below.


How to Handle Being Bullied - My Side of Story

Monday, December 04, 2017


As much as everyone out there are saying they are anti-bullying, sometimes I think to myself whether they have been on the other side of it all. If you haven't, you would probably feel sorry for the people who are being bullied and if you have, you definitely can relate to what I am about to tell you.

When I was growing up, being a lil girl who tags along by my brother who plays soccer with his friends, I started experiencing being bullied by other lil boys my age. They snatch my toys and throw it into a deep drain, they called me names and trip my legs making me fall on my knees. When I was in elementary school in the States, I had my share of racist comments thrown my way from other kids for being Asian and being kicked in the leg too. But some of the other kids are nice and still wanted to play with me. Then when I came back to Malaysia, I became a loner because I look mixed in a Malay elementary school. Other kids were probably confused what race I actually am as Malaysia is a multi-racial country. But I didn't mind much and continued going about my business.

But the real bullying began when I turned 13 years old where my so called 'best friend' started rallying up girls in the class against me. I was so confused at that time of why they are attacking me and talked behind my back. From what I heard from the boys in the class is that

1) The guys they liked, had a crush on me ( and being teenage girls, they blamed me of course where I had no idea who the guys are)

2) Because I became popular in school ( I would say people knew me because I participated in a lot of contest in school but is that my fault too?)

Honestly, I never spoke ill about anyone in school and always tried to befriend everyone regardless of their age (junior, sophomore, senior). But as I turned 14, the bullying became drastically bad as the same girls started to isolate me, giving me side eyes and disapproving everyone who said good things about me. However being the naive me who still wanted to believe in the good in people, I still helped them out even though they were just using me to borrow makeup and clothes. You know why, because I wanted to be a friend and give them a chance to get to know me. But that never worked because after they got what they wanted from me, they began isolating and bullying me every single day all over again.

This may shock you but when I was 14, I was hurting inside from all the bullying and started to slit my wrists so that I could feel pain somewhere else except in my heart. But nothing to the extent of bleeding out much just slit marks that are not in deep. At a few points, I thought about committing suicide ( don't worry, this happened when I was in a teenager state of mind) . Being a teenager, I wanted to fit in. I wanted to please everyone. I wanted to have friends. But I never seemed to fit in, I never seemed to please everyone and the girls didn't want to be friends with me despite my kindness to them.  I cried myself to sleep every night and never told my parents about what I was going through at school. I began losing focus in my studies and started putting up a wall in my heart from others to enter. Imagine how a naive innocent girl turned unapproachable by being bullied for years.

When I hit 16, I had another pang of hurt as I was cyber bullied. That time, it was the Myspace days and Facebook was not even popular yet. I was called ugly, a slut, skinny like a stick (body-shamed), and all the horrible things you can imagine. One day I went to the bathroom to pee during recess and on the back of the door I saw something written and a drawing of a stick figure named 'Aini' which is me and a score board of the name of my so called ex 'best friend' who stabbed my back when I was 13. The score board was rating me zero on looks, zero on sexy figure and zero in hotness. I walked out the bathroom skipping recess and stayed in the classroom all alone and cried. I carried my sorrows and doubting my self worth. At that time, I was questioning myself of am I really not pretty? Is my body so disgusting because I had no curves when I was a teenager. But I prayed every night to GOD to give me strength to endure the pain.

When I became a senior, I guess I became a bit stronger due to all the walls I have putted up in my heart all those years. But do bear in mind, I was still getting bullied every single day. I practically only had a couple of girls who did not want any part of the bullying that was happening to me and became a friend.

Okay, back to the story. So, I took the courage to tell my parents of what I was going through all those years and my mom's face turned sad and she was speechless. She did not know what to respond and turned to my dad. My dad was quite. The next day while he was driving me to school, he suddenly said to me 'Do you want to change schools?'

And at that moment, it is as if GOD was sending me a message from above to my heart and mind to be strong. Something triggered in me. It is as if GOD was saying to me 'If I stayed strong and believed in him, he will take care of me'.

So I said to my dad'  It's okay Papa. I don't want to change schools because if I do, it means victory for them and I do not want them to win. No. I will stay strong until I complete my high school and finish the SPM final year exams.' My dad just nodded but I saw his worries splattered across his face.

In university, I also was bullied by a group of girls because I had an American accent and they accused me of faking it. There was a point where I did not want to even speak during class presentation because I knew they were talking about my accent. They didn't know that I used to study in the States and have friends there. They surely did not know where I came from and choose to judge me. Yes, my parents lived in a small town in Malaysia after we came back from the States because my dad wanted to live in a close community. He hated the big city and preferred to raise his family in a small town. Because of that, these KL girls were dissing me and saying I was a kampung (country) girl who didn't have any use for them to be friends with. Well, I was born in KL but I lived all around the place. But what is wrong living in a small town? I loved that small town even-though I was bullied in school there.

But you know what guys, despite all of that, I managed to survive it all. KARMA hit them bad and somehow news will arrive about it to my ears. Maybe it is GOD's way of telling me that he really took care of me all this while. I grew up becoming a strong woman who has been through hell and back. And look where I am today! :)

Moral of the story is, treat people kindly whomever they are because bullying is not acceptable. Bullying leads to someone committing actual suicide. It tortures someone emotionally and mentally. I had no help while I was going through it all. But if you feel that you can't take it anymore, go to see a therapist or counselor to share your feelings. Trust me, it helps by talking to someone.

I hope one day when my child grows up, he will not experience the pain of bullying like I did. And if he does, I want him to be able to talk with me and share his feelings openly. I want him to know that I will always catch him when he falls. That he can outgrow all the bullies and prove to them that he is better.

Have you had your share of bullies in life? Feel free to share your experience and I will definitely get back to you :)


From someone who understands, 

Delicious Healthy Prawn Pasta Recipe for Your Dinner Date

Wednesday, November 22, 2017



It does not matter whether you want to impress your date and cook an amazing meal for dinner or simply a nice meal for your own self, this delicious pasta recipe will definitely be the perfect meal to learn. Whether you think you are not a great cook or excel in the kitchen, this healthy prawn pasta is easy to make. Not only that, it is also a healthy meal if you are watching your weight especially as we are nearing the end of the year. Check out my simple yet scrumptious prawn pasta recipe down below.

Ingredients:
·         200g of dried San Remo spaghetti pasta
·         4 crushed cloves of garlic
·         1/3 cup of olive oil
·         1 teaspoon of dried chilli flakes
·         1 teaspoon of salt
·         200g of prawns
·         1/3 cup of lemon juice
·         1/4 cup of finely chopped parsley leaves
·         2 tablespoon of parmesan cheese


Steps:


  1.  Cook pasta is a pot of boiling salt water until tender, Drain and set aside.
  2.  Meanwhile, heat olive oil in a deep frying pan and add crushed garlic, salt and chilli   flakes and prawns together. Cook and stir until prawns turn pink and fragrant.
  3.  Add pasta, lemon juice and parsley. Toss and stir well together. 
  4.  Serve with a sprinkle of parmesan cheese on top for the perfect taste.





So what other recipes do you want me to share? Feel free to leave your ideas in the comment section below. 

Momming - The Reason Why Moms Can't Slow Down

Tuesday, November 14, 2017



I am a working mother who sleeps at 12.00 am as soon as the baby sleeps and wakes up at 5.30am every morning to get ready for work. Not to mention the middle of the night wake up call to feed the baby at 3.30am. I rush to head out of the house grabbing my work handbag and packed breakfast/lunch. I live quite far from the office but that never stopped me for going to work as I consider myself lucky in having a job that I really enjoy. 

I reached the office at 6.45am and since I became a mother, I sneak in an hour time to sleep in the car at the office car park with the air-conditioning and engine switched off because I want to save fuel (fuel is so expensive nowadays and I need to save every buck I can!). When I was single, I never minded starting my work at my desk at 7.00am sharp because I always got enough sleep haha but not anymore. 

After an hour sleeping in the car, I head up to the office and I am still one of the early birds. Then I focus on work til 6.00pm five days a week and head home to fulfill my mommy/wifey responsibilities. I arrive at my house with all the traffic at about 7.15pm as the sun goes down. My husband picks up the baby so sometimes while waiting for him to arrive home, I will squeeze in some 15 minutes workout but at times I just quickly shower while doing squats and planks in the bathroom (I know right? Multitasking to that extent)

After that, I make dinner and tidy up the house a bit. As soon as my husband and baby arrives at the driveway, I go out greeting them and carrying my baby inside for some playtime. I entertain the baby giving my husband the time to shower, work out and have his dinner. Yes, this is my weekday routine. Apart from planning a birthday party (goodies, decoration, cake, entertainment, gift) and grocery shopping, settling the baby to sleep is another story. So my rest time is at 12.00am to 5.30am with interrupted sleep at 3.30am. When the baby sleeps, I will be so relieved and aim to scroll through the Instagram or having a conversation with the hubs but ended up snoozing off beside the baby leaving the husband hanging.

During the weekends, I am a full-time mommy (because yes guys, my husband works during the weekend too and I have no extra eyes taking care of the baby on the weekend) where I cook for the baby and the family, giving the baby a bath and showering at the same time, making up the bed, doing the laundry and cleaning the house. And yes, I have a clingy baby who loves to follow me everywhere I go so I do the house chores while carrying him in one hand. Imagine how strong my left arm is right now. So how would I slow down. I always think to myself to calm the shit down but if I do nothing will be done. The house will look like a hurricane hit and I will forget or miss to get certain things on the to-do list.  I am afraid that if I take my time strolling down the supermarket aisle or delaying things, everything will catch up to me and come crashing at my feet. And I am also the biggest support system for the husband. I listen to his day-to-day stories while playing with the baby. Also putting the time and effort to always try to make our relationship have some spice especially as we have dated over a decade before getting married. Not that I am complaining but just saying.

Moms never slow down because they are deeply afraid that if they do, they can never make up for the lost time as we are swamped with responsibilities as it is. Let's face it, if we don't do it, no one will. Momming does not work that way. Even if our partner helps around a bit, it is not the same as what mothers do to ensure the household and baby is kept well. Mothers always have that sixth sense. It is called noticing all the things that needs to get done and racing to it. Although some lucky moms out there have people to come around to help, it cannot be denied that we are the ones who needs to remind them? Moms!

Who teaches the kids of saying 'thank you' and 'please', to tie their shoe laces, to introduce them to new food, read them stories, take photos of their development or ask them if they are okay. It takes energy and effort to do that. And yes, pretty overwhelming and for a working mom, extreme overload of emotions.

We struggle to slow down as there is always something that comes up and in dire need of our magic hands. We push through the tired hours of the day and through our illness because slowing down is not an option in our life anymore. And being mom-shamed by others is not helpful. 

We get through the days. We get it all done from A to Z (or sometimes until M). We feel exhausted and don't think anything is left to be done. We check on our kid for one last time before we fall into bed staring at their innocent looking face while hearing their soft breathing. And that final sight is the most precious moment a mother would get up to the next morning and do everything all over again. 

I thought I had already appreciated and respected my own mother after all these years. But as soon as I became a mother myself, the level of appreciation and respect is at a whole other level. As I am writing this, I am tearing up as it makes me touched with all the sacrifices that my own mother made putting her life on hold to raise her kids with kindness, passion, love and support. 

So moms out there, you are not alone. Whatever you see in social media by celebrities are painted picture perfect but let's be real, being a mother is hard work and once one becomes a mother, then they can relate. Taking care of your nieces and nephews is not as exhausting as taking care of your own child. Believe me, I have been there. Although being a mom is challenging, I would do it all over again 👪 because that's how much that lil one brought more purpose in my life. The one who makes me strive to be the best I can and pushing through the hard days with the will in me so I can give a better life for my child. I bet all parents feel the same. 

Do you feel you can relate? Feel free to share your real stories with me in the comment section below or hit my email up. 




Walk In Closet Inspiration

Tuesday, November 07, 2017


So, I have been dreaming about having my own walk in closet since I was a teenager. But I bet most of us have and installing a walk in closet is quite expensive. I didn't get to fulfill this dream for some time due to living with parents, rented apartments and a fully furnished condo from my single days. However, I am married now and living in a new comfortable home allows me to start planning my walk in closet dream.


The walk in closet that I designed cost roughly around RM3000 which I have to save up some of my salary balance to achieve my goal. I have sketched the dream walk-in-closet that I would want to install in a spare bedroom in our house. Therefore, before starting the actual visual design process, I am currently taking my free time to spring clean my wardrobe. Tossing out the worn out clothes, packing the clothes I rarely wear in a box for donation and probably some trendy ones for sale. I will update you guys when I am doing the sale.


As for the spare bedroom to install my dream walk in closet, here are some of the inspiration of what I would like it to look like. What do you guys think?













What do you think? Once I get my walk in closet installed and setting it up nicely, will definitely give you guys an update.

And for my clothes, which charity organization should I donate them to? If you have something in mind, feel free to let me know in the comment section below.




Lil Aryan's First Ever Halloween Party Celebration

Sunday, October 29, 2017



Halloween is in a couple of days and I definitely wanted my lil one to feel the excitement for the occasion. My lil one was dressed up as a skeleton with his skeleton stick and lil pumpkin bag for some trick-or-treating at a Halloween party yesterday.



He was the youngest there and surely became everyone's favourite. My husband was there with us to spend some family time. Since it is for little kids, the Halloween party started at 11am until 1pm at Kidzoona Aeon Rawang. It was the only Halloween party that I find was baby friendly. We paid RM30 to register which included a goodie bag, activities and amazing prizes. There was also a Halloween Best Dressed Costume for the kid who rock their Halloween OOTD. 


The event started with the musical chair game and my lil Aryan was assisted by the workers there to join in the fun. He won (of course) because an adult was carrying him but lil Aryan was such a gentleman and gave his seat to the girl. But he still got a cute prize doll from the game. It was very sweet of the ladies who worked there entertaining the kids.


After the musical chair game, there was a Halloween cupcake decoration contest and yes, Mommy (me) to the rescue. At first lil Aryan was sitting next to me cheering me on while playing his toys but then he left Mommy to do the hard labour and went on a date. See picture below. LOL



Lastly, the party ended with a dance party and prize giving ceremony where lil Aryan won the BEST DRESSED. Congratulations sweetheart. Mommy is proud (Mommy definitely dressed you well, Fuh!) Hahaha. 

The party was fun and chill which is suitable for lil Aryan to crawl around. There were many toys too! I am glad that lil Aryan enjoyed the experience and made the entire party adored him. 





So what are your Halloween party this year? What are you dressed up as? I was the old classic witch but in a hotter version hahahahahahaha 




My Confinement Story

Thursday, October 26, 2017

Okay I know this is a long overdue story since my baby is almost hitting his 10 months milestone. Yeay! Now let's get real for a few minutes. My confinement journey was not easy. My lil one has G6PD and he had to be admitted to the NICU for close monitoring. He had to undergo various test and being a mother, I cried when he cried during my NICU visit to me. I had normal delivery but I tore quite bad down there and stitched up. Being stitched up at your private area stings like crazy and difficult to even walk. Women who go through the experience will actually know the level of pain I am talking about right now. But that didn't stop me from going back and forth to breastfeed my child every three hours. I changed his diapers, breastfed him and had no help at all during that time because we were in the NICU unit. 

If you know me, I will always put the baby first and neglect myself so I did not care what happened to me. I felt a lot of pain down there but I ignored it and just swallowed some pain killers. So when my baby got a little bit better, we were discharged and I could not wait to head home. Of course we still need to go for baby checkups during the confinement period but on the first day of the doctor's visit at the Government Clinic, they found something was wrong with me. Every nurse had gasped as soon as they flipped my kain batik to check on the stitching. Turns out the stitching was a total breakdown meaning it was wide open. You can see everything in there. No wonder I was in so much pain for days. 

Then of course I had to go to the nearest government hospital and in the car while holding my baby, I broke down. I cried because I was in pain, tired and had to overcome this never ending challenges. Yes guys, I had post-partum depression. My husband was very worried and he said to me what any wife would want to hear 'I am here for you.Always'. I calmed down a little after hearing that.

Once we arrived and I thought I would be taken care of, even the specialist of the government hospital did not want to do anything and referred me back to the hospital which I originally had my baby. It was a two hour drive as I was staying with my mom during my confinement period. The government hospital specialist was very nice and gave me some strong pain killers so I felt no pain during the drive. 

I called my original specialist while my husband and I were driving down there and told the situation. So my specialist doctor scheduled for a emergency meeting to fix my va-jay-jay. I brought the baby along too because we were afraid if I had to be admitted but turns out they wanted to pull out all the stitching from my private area. So my husband had to babysit the baby while I had to undergo another level of pain when they had to clean the wound and pull all the broken stitching out. I had no pain killers, NOTHING! Imagine the continuous pain I had to endure. 

While I was in the operation room for the procedure, I heard my baby crying and my husband cannot calm him down. A kind nurse came in the operation room bringing my baby and I was nursing him while undergoing the painful procedure. MULTI-TASKING much! 

After all that, we went home for another two hours drive and it was a roller coaster ride as my baby woke up every two hours to nurse. I was breaking inside because I bundled everything inside. But to my amazement, my second sister-in-law texted me and helped ease my struggles as she understood what I am going through. I am grateful that she became a friend when I needed to talk to someone. 

My husband was a great support system as well during that downward spiral as he helped cleaned the wound at my private area with saline solution twice a day for four months. He had seen the open wound once the stitches had been removed to the day it was properly healed. He took pictures so I can keep track of it healing well. And I am very grateful I had a husband who will always have my back no matter what. 

Well guys, do not be fooled with the picture perfect life that you see on social media as everyone has  their own story. I have mine too and I am not embarrassed to share it as I want you to know that you are not alone. It was tough but I managed to survive it all. Besides that, my baby was my biggest motivation to keep going and not give up. However, it you feel that your post-partum depression is getting worse, please seek advice from a kind hearted counselor and never be ashamed. 

I hope my story helped some of you ladies out there develop a more positive spirit. If you ever need anyone to talk to about your struggles, hit me up at my email and I will try my best to reply asap. 

Thanks for reading guys. Love you :)

















How to Establish a Bedtime Routine for Your Baby

Friday, September 15, 2017



For all the parents out there, this is the topic you normally google up when you are frustrated on setting a bedtime schedule for your lil one. But do know that it takes some trial and error for us parents to actually find the perfect fit for our lil one as each babies are different. My husband and I struggled for awhile to set the bedtime routine which fits our lil precious one but we found the solution. It took us awhile being first time parents but the experience we had was awesome. Therefore, let me share with you the steps we had to endure to establish the bedtime routine for your baby. This is not some cliche points. These are real experiences. But trust me, when your baby turns four to six months old, it gets easier for you to have more shut eye time at night. Haha

1. Do not leave him hungry

First and foremost if you are working parents or not, make sure that your baby gets milk or his/her dinner by 8pm. Hungry babies will become very cranky and settling down to sleep will be quite challenging. 


2. Set a consistent bedtime

As hard as it is as babies do not know how to follow the time and often goes to sleep whenever they feel like it, try to set a consistent time. For example, if 9.00pm your baby seems giddy and happy, play with him to tire him out so that by 10.00pm you could rock him to sleep. Although you must know that this might change every now and then as your baby grows up. For my baby, he only takes a nap at 8.00pm and ends up waking up for a couple of hours after for playtime. But as soon as the clock strikes 11.00pm or if he shows signs of yawning or rubbing his eyes, we know it is time for the bedtime ritual to start. See point below. However, be flexible if your baby seems to stay up late than usual.


3. Create a ritual 

Okay, this point always come up in a lot of these kind of topics but it is crucially important. Create a bedtime ritual which will in time make your lil one understand that is time to get ready to sleep. Some people bathe their baby with warm water as a cue while some read their baby a bedtime story. Well it didn't work for our baby (lol) but it is not impossible that it does work for some. However, for us, we wipe his body with a warm soaked towel, wash his face, changed his diaper, give him a bottle of his milk and while the baby is drinking his milk, we pretend we are asleep. When our baby makes a sound and tries to wake us up, we pretended to be sound asleep and to our astonishment, he slept on his own. DO take note, this worked when he turned 8 months old. Before that, we had to rock him in his bouncer to sleep.


4. Go dark

Do not leave the light on just because you feel or think that your lil one will be afraid. This is because they are still too young to understand. The dark as a matter of fact helps to get your baby's body into sleep mode faster as your body releases melatonin, a hormone which helps the body transition to sleep. Even as adults falls asleep easier in the dark.



5. Put him down drowsy

Okay, if you try to put him down for his sleep while he is active, you will know that he will not be ready for bed. So to tire him out, give him toys or entertain him for an hour or two until he gets drowsy. Your baby will definitely fall asleep easier when he/she feels exhausted. 


So how did you experimented in setting that bedtime routine for your baby? Feel free to share your experiences in the comment section below.










How to Bond with Baby for Working Moms

Sunday, August 27, 2017


This topic is the dilemma of all working moms out there including me. Returning to work after delivering the baby is a hard decision to make. You will feel whether you want to leave work to be a full time mother or go back to work and rock your career as well as help provide for the family. As in today's bad economy, both parents have to work to earn a living and baby expenses are EXPENSIVE! So with heavy hearts, we have to go back to work no matter we like it or not. 

However, leaving your baby after your maternity leave ends is a tough experience and to be honest, you will start to feel as if your bond with baby fade away. You become jealous with the babysitter or caregiver because your baby tends to spend more time with them than you. You also start to feel sad because you have to miss a lot of their early milestones. Well, no matter what happens remember that you are doing the best you can for your baby and having mother guilt is normal (I am still coping with it until this day so I understand you Moms) Let's check out how to bond with baby and still keep climbing your career with success. 


1. Quality Time vs Quantity


Since you are working moms, finding a huge amount of time to spend with baby is difficult because you spend your day time at work. Therefore, make sure that before you head off to work that you spend some time with your little one. Like me, I often head off early to work at about 6.00 am every morning and my little one still is sound asleep. So I give him soft kisses on the forehead and cheek while caressing his hair. And do not forget to spend time as soon as you arrive home from work by playing, laughing, hugging and give extra extra kisses so that your baby knows that you will always be there. Put away your phone, forget about work and make family time your priority after work hours.



2. Understand Baby Cues


Some people can naturally pick this up fast while others take some time. But you can pay attention to different types of gestures, body language and cries to detect what your baby is trying to say to you. As your baby grows fast and some changes will happen, always become familiar with these cues. You will definitely feel more close to your little one and lessen your worries.



3. Sleep and Eat with Your Baby


Like me, he sleeps beside me on my bed every single night since I delivered. I feel that I can keep my little one safer that way because I am a light sleeper. Even the slightest sound, twitch or movement from my baby, I am fast awake. But I will train my baby to sleep in his cot soon. You can also sing a bedtime lullaby and cuddle the LO. However, if you are putting your baby down for a nap during the day, just lay beside them even if you are not sleepy. 

Besides that, whenever you can feed your baby, do it! Talk with them and make a conversation with them during meal time. Look into your baby eyes and put your entire focus towards him/her.



4. Delay the Chores

Okay, being a working mom or not, chores around the house is a part of our life. However, since your baby hardly is with you during the day, spend your free time with your baby when they are awake. Delay those chores for awhile. You will definitely love the giggles, hugs and cries your little one does.  Get your spouse to give you a helping hand with chores too so everything gets done fast.


5. Be Consistent

A specific routine is a must to ensure that your baby understands when to wake up, eat, nap, bath and sleep. Although there are days when your baby may be cranky and does not want to let you go, do not make it a habit. 


6. Let It Go


Finally, let it go and do the best you can as a parent. Do not try to be perfect as it will make you feel more stressed. Just make the best of your life and never put yourself down for something that goes wrong (I know we moms tend to do that). 


So what are your ways in making the bond stronger with your baby? Please feel free to share your ways so working moms out there can learn a thing or two.





XOXO,

How to Work That Vintage Tee in Style

Friday, August 25, 2017
      

Hey, do you have a vintage inspired tee hanging in your closet or a new t-shirt you just do not how to wear it with style? Well, if you are someone who is looking to give that vintage tee of yours appear more edgy, there are some fashion tips to apply. As much as it easy to match that tee with a pair of jeans, there are exciting ways to boost that confidence of yours by picking out some extra pieces to complete your look from your own wardrobe. Let's take a look of some pieces that can definitely help turn a simple tee into something incredible.


1. Outerwear


 Outerwear is important in making your t-shirt appear more stylish. Rather than choosing a cardigan or hoodie, opt for a brave approach by layering up your tee with a nice leather jacket. Black is the easiest and safest choice to give you that 'in control' appearance. If you want a simpler touch, denim jackets can work its wonders as well.




2. Ripped Jeans

           

Give your outfit some rugged hint by wearing a pair of ripped jeans. The shaggy torn look is timeless and works great if you know how to pull it off. There are various designs of ripped jeans out there so select the design which suits your personal style. That ripped effect complements your vintage tee in the perfect way it can.





3. Perfect Footwear
                 
Who says that shoes aren't important? The right choice of footwear to match your whole outfit is what makes or breaks it. For the ladies who are aiming to get that tomboyish appeal can opt for some black boots while the ladies who want to give your edgy outfit a hint of sophistication can definitely rock on some high heels.



4. Swag~



Last but not least, your whole look will not be complete if you cannot carry it with confidence. Confidence is what makes a woman appear beautiful in the eyes of others. Therefore, show off your swag and walk out looking fly from head-to-toe.

SHOP MY LOOK HERE >



So share with us if you have any extra fashion tips to add to the mix in turning that vintage tee of yours with today's modern trends. Til, then.


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XOXO. 

Pregnancy Journey

Friday, March 24, 2017

Getting married is such as magical experience but what comes next? Babies, of course! Some women tend to hold it off a year or two before having a baby. But my husband and I decided to go with the flow for this first child. After being married for about 3 months, we conceived and it started when I felt weird a week before I miss my period. At that time, the hubs and I took the train together. The long walks and rushing to catch the train made me extra tired. Then my boobs started to feel sore and I had the hunch that I might just be pregnant.  However, I did not want to get my hopes up before I really am sure.
So the next day I bought two types of pregnancy test, the stripe result one and the expensive digital one (to really make sure lol). My husband was nervous as well but he tried to not get his hopes up too. He told me to do the test tomorrow morning when the HTG levels are high but after dinner that night I could not handle the wait so I took the stripe result type of pregnancy test and went into the toilet. My husband asked’ What are you doing? Taking the test?’ I answered ‘Yup, I can’t take it anymore’. The hubs waited patiently in the living room.
The result was positive and I walked to my husband leaving the pregnancy test on the bathroom’s sink. He asked ‘Positive?’ I said ‘I am not sure. How about you go take a look?’ He quickly rushed to the toilet and saw the results. He thought the test was wrong. I said ‘No, I did it right. You are going to be a daddy!’ I analyzed his face. He was so excited but still not to get his hopes up before we confirm it at the clinic. The next day after work, we both were eager and nervous to know the results from the doctor. And yes, at that moment the hubs started into my eyes and we were truly grateful. I was 4 weeks 3 days pregnant at the time.

First Trimester

I tried to keep my pregnancy secret for as long as I can. Until I hit 6 weeks when there was some bleeding/spotting. The cat is out of the bag and I had to tell my colleagues as well as bosses. They were happy but wanted me to take care of myself. The doctor gave me Duphaston and medical leave for a week. I was on full bed rest and had to take time off work. I was afraid that I will lose the baby. Then I was lucky I had understanding bosses and let me work from home when the week was up.
Morning sickness (all day sickness), cravings, tiredness and sleepy is what I felt during this stage. My morning sickness was still in control as I only vomit twice during the first trimester.
The glucose test I took twice because I threw up the first time around. Imagine you have to fast the night before and drink a huge glass of glucose the next morning. Then you have to hold it together for two hours before checking your result. Luckily I passed the second time and the results was okay.

Second Trimester
The best phase ever! I got back to work in the office, morning sickness went out of the window and I felt more alive. I do have occasional cravings but most I craved for fast food. McDonalds, Pizza and KFC were my top fast food craves.


The hubs and I also went for our Babymoon towards the end of the second trimester. We went to Ipoh Bali Hotel to enjoy some private time together. The hubs was romantic as he planned a romantic candle light dinner the second night we were there. The staff and service from the Ipoh Bali Hotel was spectacular too.

Third Trimester


Okay, the rough phase because I was extra tired and the belly was getting huge every single day. My balance was off, my feet were swollen, sleepy, hungry all the time but still excited to meet the baby. Not only that, my glucose level went up and I had to be on a controlled diet. I had gestational diabetes when I was pregnant but it was not critical.



My specialist laid everything out on the birth plan on every visit and he was like a father figure to me. Dr.Philip from Selayang Hospital was a chill, matured, skilled and comforting. He is the Head of the OBGYN department in the hospital and is really experienced. He made me feel that I can trust him to make sure me and the baby is safe. My expected due date was 16 January but baby decided to come at the last minute and not earlier like my friends experiences were.

The Panic Stage
You know when people say you just know that you will be in labour soon when you feel a sudden burst of energy? Well, one morning when I woke up I had that burst of energy that people often describe. I cleaned and tidied up the nursery but it sure triggered spotting because I suddenly felt something dripping to my panties. It was brown spotting and I felt some mild cramps. I texted my husband and told him to just be alert because I feel it’s getting near. That night, the cramps were getting painful but I could still handle it. My husband predicted that we would be rushing to the hospital in a few hours. Well, guess what? He was right! I started waking up every hour that night to pee and exactly at 3am in the morning, I had the bloody show. We immediately rushed to the hospital and got admitted on 12th January. Lucikly, we already packed the hospital bag.



The Labour
My labour was long. It took two days for the contractions to get wild and on 14th January, 5.06pm I delivered my beautiful baby boy. The contractions were extreme and my husband was there all the way not having enough sleep as well. He was with me during the long labour experience and held my hand throughout everything. I am a lucky woman.
My labour was assisted at the end with vacuum so I tore really badly. The episiotomy wound was huge and needed a few months to actually heal because my wound stitches had a complete breakdown later after being discharged. Despite the pain, I remembered the first time I saw my baby on my chest after pushing him out, the tears of joy took over and the pain went away. Although my pain was admitted to the NICU the next day, well, that’s a different story to tell. Maybe in another post if you are interested.

Well, this was my experience (I tried to summarize it) and as painful as it is for me, I am grateful I safely delivered my baby and have a supporting husband. Share with me your experiences and feel free to ask me anything about the process. 

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